Never Felt so Alive
by xS I L E N T Harmony
Summary: When I woke up next to him, I thought about what a mistake I'd made. Then he takes me on a roadtrip with him and his brother once they realize I'm an important piece in the apocalypse. And now I have to tell one of my dear friends this story. But, to be honest, I'd never felt so alive before this. Dean/OC
1. Life's Complicated

**Wow I really need to update my other stories! But, this idea kind of came to me (mostly I'm just typing, so I have no clear idea where it's heading right now), and I figured I'd try it out! Enjoy!**

**Dean and Sam, and anything that is _Supernatural_ does not belong to me!**

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"Life's… complicated," I said. My slight smile took up my face as I stared down at my cup of coffee before me. I knew I shouldn't have met up with Chris like this. Dean would definitely be yelling about keeping a low profile once I returned to the motel down the street. If he caught me.

Chris laughed slightly, his dimples lighting up the area. "How is college complicated?" Leaning forward, he asked jokingly, "Can't decide a major?"

I laughed outright. My brown eyes locked onto his green eyes; his carefree personality was enough to engulf anyone around him. It was a shame I had a thing for the bad boy. "No, not that. Personal stuff."

How exactly could I tell Chris that I was really on the run with two people, one of which I'd slept with one drunken night before exams and had been forced on the run with them, all the while hunting things that went bump in the night? I was sure that explanation of complicated wouldn't go over well.

"Do I need to beat up a boyfriend?" Chris asked. He flexed his biceps and said, "I'm pretty sure I can take him on."

"No, no beating up of boyfriends, please," I replied. I took in his shining green eyes as he snapped his fingers and settled back into the chair with a fake huff. He sipped on his coffee before looking off into the distance. Silence settled over us for minutes.

Then a whistle escaped Chris' lips as he said, "Man what I would do for that car."

"What car?" I asked. I turned in my seat and felt a sinking feeling in my stomach. The black 1967 Chevy Impala was passing the sidewalk café in the direction of the motel. I turned back to Chris, gulped down my coffee, and said, "I've gotta go. It was great catching up!" I grabbed my purse and took off sprinting in the direction of the motel, praying to any God listening to help me beat them there.

My legs began protesting quickly—heels definitely didn't agree with this workout—and I felt myself slowing down to run at a pace to keep myself balanced.

"I've gotta run faster," I muttered to myself. I picked up the speed instantly, pushing my legs to rush me to the rank motel room I was supposed to be hiding out in.

I made it inside the window, over the salt line without disturbing it, and out of my heels in time for something to brush against my shoulder.

"Who were you with?" Dean asked.

"Why do you care? I'm just your captive," I replied. I took a step back before I heard the deep chuckle behind me. I turned to look at Sam, who was standing just behind me.

"I told you that I needed you to stay here and that you could get hurt if you left," Dean said. "Damn it, woman, will you ever listen to me?"

"Listen to you? Dean, all I ever do is listen to you!" I exclaimed. "This was one time! One time that I decided to meet up with one of my old friends. You can't keep me hostage like this; I will protest until we get done with this whole apocalypse thing if you keep me hostage."

I heard Sam sigh lightly under his breath. I bit back a smirk; that was definitely the I-agree smirk. At least it was two against one now.

Dean sighed and settled against the wall. He ran a hand through his short, dirty blond locks. "Look, I get it, okay. Sam was the exact same way. But you don't have the Enochian seals; they could find you in an instant. No offense, but the reason you were brought along was to make sure you didn't rat us out."

I scoffed. "Really? I thought I actually meant something to you." I turned to Sam and motioned for him to step aside. With a slight groan, he moved, and I walked to the door. "If I'm nothing more than collateral damage then I'm going back to college. And I'll start living my life again."

I walked out of the door and expected one or both of the Winchester brothers to chase after me. Neither did. In relief, I found myself on the doorstep of Chris' house. I knocked and he opened the door within a moment.

"Trina? What are you doing here?" Chris asked. He opened the door widely but stood in the doorway.

Taking a step forward, I asked, "I kind of need a place to stay. I didn't get the chance to say it earlier, but I'm in a huge need of getting back to campus."

"I thought you were in college…"

"I am," I replied. "It's just that I had taken a vacation with my boyfriend and I've decided I want to go back." I smiled, hoping I was believable enough. My right hand pushed my ginger locks behind my shoulder in need to keep my hands from clasping in desperation.

"Okay," Chris said. He stepped to the side and let me enter. He led me into the living room and ordered me to sit while he found some blankets. I wasn't sure what he'd said to be honest; I'd been too busy thinking about what had just happened.

Would Dean come looking for me? I'd been on the run with him for so long—I'd even helped on cases—that I wasn't sure if either would be able to function without my help. Of course that sounded slightly vain, but it was true. Lately it seemed like I was more the brains of the operation while Sam and Dean had become the muscle, though I was sure Sam could become the brains again if they were desperate.

"So are you going to tell me what's going on now?" Chris asked. I looked up from where I'd perched myself up at him. He carried a few blankets and a pillow. He set them on the other side of the couch and stood before me.

"It's complicated," I replied. I laughed and asked, "Can we just leave it at that?"

After a moment, Chris sighed and nodded. "For now. Come on, I'll make you something to eat."

"Since when could you cook?"

"Hey, there are a lot of things you don't know about me," Chris replied. He hopped into the kitchen and began opening several drawers. He pulled out pans, food, and other things and set to start making food. I merely stood in the kitchen, watching.

After a while, I turned to the television in the living room. "Hey, do you mind if I turn on the television?" I asked.

"Not at all," Chris replied.

I turned on the television, flipping to a news channel. Immediately, I regretted the action.

"Trina, what's—"

I cursed under my breath. I turned to see Chris looking at the television where my MISSING picture was being flashed.

"I can explain," I whispered.

"You were kidnapped!" he exclaimed.

"Not exactly," I replied. Right as I said that, though, more bad news flooded. The front door to Chris' house slammed open and in walked two things I didn't want to deal with.

Demons.

"Johnny's home!" a male demon said. Black flooded his vision and he held out his hand, throwing Chris and I against a wall.

"What the hell is going on?" Chris asked while vainly attempting to pull himself from the wall.

"He's a demon," I muttered.

"Demon?" Chris asked.

I closed my eyes. I really didn't want to just push him into this issue, but it looked like I had no choice.

I opened my eyes in time to be dropped from my spot on the wall to the floor. In a crumpled heap, I took in my saviors—Sam and Dean—stabbing the two demons with Ruby's knife.

I pushed myself up and glared at Dean. I knew immediately why the two hadn't chased after me, and with this knowledge came the immense anger I felt bubbling up inside me.

"I was bait?" I asked.

He looked at me incredulously, his green eyes shining what I could only akin to protectiveness. At least with these little acts he did I knew he somewhat cared for me.

"It got the job done, and you played the part beautifully," Dean replied. He took in Chris, who was pushing himself up. "Now the issue with your little friend."

"I'm telling him," I cut in. "This is my story."


	2. Your Boyfriend's a Jerk

**Here's the next chapter! Hope you enjoy! Remember to review ;)**

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All four of us settled onto the couch in Chris' now-decimated living room. I smiled sympathetically at him; I knew this must have been some sort of traumatic experience for him. In fact, I'd been in his shoes before.

"So, those were demons?" Chris asked quietly. He kept bringing his hand up to scratch at his dark locks; must have been a nervous habit I decided.

"Yes," I replied. I turned to look directly into his questioning eyes. I smiled and let my hand drop on top of his in a comforting effort. I could feel the glare Dean was sending our way at the action, but I didn't care at the moment.

"What about vampires?"

"Well they don't sparkle," Dean butted in. "And they most definitely aren't things you'd want to turn into."

Chris nodded slowly. He turned his attention back to me and asked, "What about… God?"

I stopped and stared at Sam and Dean. The look on Dean's face made it look as if Chris would be dead if he had any power in his glare. Sam looked almost heartbroken at the question. I knew I didn't want to answer that the angels were a part in forcing the apocalypse because of some form of Daddy issue.

"We've never met the guy, but angels are real at least," I whispered. "It's slightly complicated."

"Everything about you is complicated," Chris said. He chuckled slightly before looking over at Sam and Dean. "So, what do you guys do?"

"We hunt things that like to attack normal people," Dean said gruffly. A smirk settled on his face. "We're heroes."

I sighed. "Anyways, I guess I should start telling about the whole issue with my MISSING picture flashing on the television."

"Did they kidnap you?" Chris asked.

"Not exactly," I replied. "It was more like I was in the wrong place at the wrong time and they saved my life." I looked over at the two brothers and smiled softly. "They may grate my nerves, but they've kept me safe when they could've dumped me to the side while they went on to the next thing."

"Protecting you from what?" Chris asked. "And don't say it's complicated. I can handle it."

"Well, we're kind of in the middle of an important battle and—"

Dean, fed up, said gruffly, "Trina's one of the main keys to the apocalypse. Both demons and angels want to get their hands on her, and if we hadn't taken her, then she would probably be on one side or the other."

"Damn it, Dean, I am telling him!" I exclaimed.

"Well, you were taking too long!"

I turned to face him. A glare that could cut through many things was sent his way. He rolled his eyes. "I was getting to it, Dean. Now we've gotta tell him about the apocalypse."

"Well, next time don't go running to ex-boyfriends when we're in the same town! Then we wouldn't have this problem!"

"We're friends, Dean!" I turned back to Chris, who looked like he was about to pass out from the little slip of information that he'd gotten.

"The apocalypse…" he whispered.

"It's why we were in town," I said. "The storms and the other weird weather around here was what tipped us off that something was going on."

"What was going on?" he asked.

Sam spoke up for the first time. "We don't really know. That's why we were heading back to the motel; we wanted to ask Trina for help. Then as we were driving past the café we saw her sitting there with you and noticed that as she took off running that there were some shady people following. We figured it must've been demons or some supernatural thing and that's when everything went down."

Turning back to face Chris, I took his hand once more—somewhere along the line I'd let go of it—and looked directly into his eyes. "Chris, do you think you can handle all of this?"

"I want to help you guys," Chris said adamantly.

"No you don't," I replied. "Trust me, this is stuff you could go your entire life without witnessing. You don't want to help."

"Yes I do." He turned his attention to Sam and Dean. "Look, I don't know what you guys mean by apocalypse, but in my time from when I was a little kid, I always thought that if there was something huge going on that I could help out with however that I would. Let me help."

Dean sat forward and said harshly, "You couldn't handle our lives."

"Dean!" I exclaimed.

"What, Trina?" he shot me a look. "You just learned about our lives, and you already want out. If your little buddy joins in, he'll be the exact same way."

I glared daggers at him.

"Trina, the apocalypse is going on right now!" Dean exclaimed. He clapped his hands together and with a sarcastic look overtaking his face said, "This sounds like the perfect time to show wannabe hunter over there how to fight the supernatural!"

I sat up straight, sent a death glare in Dean's direction, and said, "I know what you're saying, but you could be a little nicer about it. He's a friend of mine, Dean, not some sort of competition for you."

I leaned back in my seat and cast a dismal look around the room to keep my mind off of the fact that I wanted to agree with Dean. I couldn't help but wonder if I would ever see my life go back to normal. Would I ever see a time when I could have a two-story home with the white picket fence? Would I ever see a time where I was married and had a husband who would barbeque things on the weekend?

My eyes turned discreetly towards Chris, who looked like he wanted to punch Dean in the face, if his clenched jaw was any indication. Why couldn't I like someone like him? Why couldn't I ever see myself with the guy who oozed nice-guy?

A blush overtook my cheeks, though I tried desperately to push it down, when Chris turned to look at me. He sent me a curious smile. I smiled slightly before turning back to Dean.

"Well, what do we do then?"

Dean sighed. He ran a hand over his face and through his hair. Right as he opened his mouth to speak, a rush of wings met our ears.

"What the—" Chris exclaimed, jumping out of his seat in fear.

"It's just Castiel," I replied calmly. I reached to grasp his arm. "He's an angel."

Castiel, looking as awkward as ever, turned to Dean and said in his gravelly voice, "We need to speak. Alone."

Leaving me with Chris, Sam and Dean stood up to follow Castiel into a room down the hallway. Apparently whatever they had to talk about, they didn't want me to know what it was. I turned back to Chris, who was smiling softly at me.

"Your boyfriend is a jerk," he said.

"Oh, he knows," I replied. I was sure he would have used another word to describe Dean, but I was mentally glad he didn't. At least someone was being the bigger person.

"So, how did you get involved in all of this?" Chris asked. He shot me a look that I knew meant not to say it was complicated.

In all honesty, that was probably the least complicated part now that he knew the rest of the stuff.

"Well, it had been a really stressful week," I began, "and I'd decided that the girls and I needed a drink. We ended up going to this bar where I met Dean, and I'm sure you can figure out what happened then."

Chris raised an eyebrow. With a quirky smile in place, he said, "Didn't peg you for the one night stand type of girl."

"Hey, I blame all the alcohol that had been in my system!" I exclaimed. "But, to be honest, I'm happy it happened. What we didn't know until the next morning was that there had been demons on my tail that entire night. They attacked, I was saved, and then Castiel popped in and ordered them to take care of me."

"And you agreed to this?" Chris asked.

"Hell no," I replied. Laughing, I added, "I protested all the way to the next towns we headed toward. Then they started making me research to help them with certain things like family history for ghosts and the best way to kill certain things. I started feeling like I was doing something important."

"But they said you protested…"

"Yeah, like I'm going to give them the satisfaction of knowing I actually enjoy researching the supernatural," I replied. "And besides, I hate when they keep me locked up. I feel so cramped in those motel rooms."

Suddenly Sam and Dean emerged from the room Castiel had taken them into. The look on their face told me they really didn't want to hear whatever it was Cas had told them. Instinctively, my heart began pounding erratically. My hand brushed against my chest in an effort to calm it down, but to no avail. I didn't understand the sudden change in my heart, but I somehow just knew something wrong was happening.

"What's wrong?"

Dean shook his head and said, "That bastard Zachariah is what happened."

"Zachariah?" Chris asked.

"An angel," I said offhandedly. "What'd he do now?"

"He brought Adam back to life to say yes to Michael," said Dean.


	3. Joan Rivers has Gotten Plastic Surgery

**New chapter! Hope you all enjoy! I think I'll be able to wrap up this story in about a chapter or two, so yay! (A story I'm actually finishing... there's the shocker for the week!) Please R&R-I enjoy seeing the story faved and alerted, but I'd equally love to know what you're really thinking of the story!**

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Somehow Chris talked Dean into letting him tag along, because he now sat beside me while we trekked hundreds of miles to Bobby's in South Dakota.

"Remind me why Cub Scout back there got to tag along," Dean muttered. In retaliation I kicked my knee into the bench of a front seat. I groaned at the pain in my knee, but smirked in victory as Dean sent me a glare through the rearview mirror.

"Just focus on getting us to Bobby's in one piece," I replied. I leaned back into the leather seat and turned my head to Chris, who looked more in awe to be riding in the Impala than anything.

"I can't believe I'm riding in a car like this," he murmured. He turned towards me then and smiled.

"It's not all it's cracked up to be," I replied.

"Hey!" Dean yelled, causing me to jump slightly. I should've expected this reaction from him; God forbid I say anything against his baby. "She has been restored more times than Joan Rivers has gotten plastic surgery. You be nice to her."

Sam chuckled. "Dean, you only really fully restored your baby once. I'm pretty sure Joan Rivers has had way more procedures done."

"Just focus on getting us to Bobby's," I replied. I closed my eyes, drifting off to sleep.

* * *

I felt something shaking my shoulder. My first instinct was to shove it off, and when that didn't work, I grumbled, "Leave me alone or I'll kill you before you can even utter that you're sorry."

"Didn't realize you were so violent."

My eyes snapped open to a smirking Chris. I growled and swapped my hand at his chest. I pushed myself up out of the uncomfortable backseat and found my way out of the car. We had made it to Bobby's in the time that I fell asleep.

Walking up the steps to Bobby's, I did the usual test in front of him. I slid out the silver knife from my back pocket and sliced my arm slightly, took out a salt packet I had stashed in that same pocket and chugged it down—I desperately wanted to cough the awful-tasting condiment back up—and grasped the beer doused in holy water waiting for me. I took a drink and waited for the signal to know it was all clear.

"Why did you cut yourself?" Chris asked as he ran up behind me.

"Who the hell is this?" Bobby asked.

I sighed and grabbed Chris' arm. I did the same test on him with him fighting every step of the way. After he was cleared, Bobby asked again, "Who the hell is this?"

"Chris," I replied. "He's an old friend of mine. Got kind of tangled in the web before we left to meet you here."

Bobby cursed under his breath before saying, "That's about the worst thing that could happen, Trina."

"I know, Bobby."

He finally let the two of us pass into his house. I had to make sure Chris didn't disturb any of the salt lines, but we made it inside. He gave me a look, and I merely shook my head. He would probably never be able to fully grasp all the protection rituals that hunters took.

"So you're the girl who's shacking up with Dean." I turned towards the stairs as a boy who looked no older than late teens to early twenties walked down the stairs. He stopped on one of the stairs and merely stared at me. "The angel who brought me back told me a lot about you."

"Like what?" I asked.

"Like how you're supposed to bring about an antichrist baby by sleeping with Lucifer," he replied.

"What?" I asked. I felt Chris stiffen beside me. "What the hell does that mean?"

From behind me, Bobby sighed. "Kids been spouting nonsense since he got here, and eating like he just got out of the ground too."

"They say I'm supposed to defeat Lucifer," Adam said. "When I say yes to Michael."

"Look, kid, you have no idea what it'd be like to have an Archangel in you." Dean stepped into the foyer. "Don't think we won't stop you from saying yes."

"What are you going to do? You're the one who won't say yes in the first place," Adam replied coldly. Something didn't feel right to me about this kid, and I intended to find out what it was. Suddenly Adam brightened up and said, "Man, I'm starving. Can we go find some burger joint that makes good food?"

"You dissing my food, you idjit?"

Adam smiled so brightly, I almost forgot what he'd just said about me apparently sleeping with Lucifer. As if I'd ever let that happen; I'd sooner die than let that happen.

We turned and walked out to the Impala. Instead of settling into the back with Suddenly-Back-to-Living Adam, I decided I wanted some bonding time with Bobby.

I hopped into his car and he took off first, his car puffing out black smog that threatened to enter the car.

Instantly, I turned to Bobby. "What did Adam mean?"

"What do you mean?" Bobby asked.

"You heard him, Bobby; he said I was meant to bring the antichrist into the world!" I exclaimed. "Is that why Castiel ordered Sam and Dean to take care of me? Is that why I've been on lockdown with the two ever since I met them?"

"I don't know," Bobby replied. "All I know is what I've heard floating around. I don't even think they know the truth."

"And you didn't think to warn me?" I asked. "What would have happened if Sam did say yes and Lucy decided to kidnap me? What then?"

"Then I guess you'd have to be thinking about abortion," Bobby replied. "I don't know, kid, but I do know that Sam's not saying yes anytime soon, so you won't have to worry about that ever happening."

My eyes drifted to the scenery before me. Unfortunately, I couldn't even appreciate it with the new nightmare drifting in my head.

Then something hit me.

"Dean went into the future," I whispered. "What if he's known all along?"


	4. For the Rest of his Undead Life

**Sorry this chapter took so long! Honestly, I've had it typed for a while, but I just now edited it *smacks forehead*! Anywho, I think this story only has a chapter left or so... soooo enjoy!**

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If ever there was a time for an awkward time at a diner, I knew it was this time. The entire time we sat there, we all kept throwing looks at one another and subsequently watching the oblivious Adam eat like there was no tomorrow.

I coughed. "So, Adam, what were you studying at college?"

Idle conversation to cover the obvious tension at the table? Check.

Adam shrugged. "Doesn't matter much now, does it?"

"Sure it does," I replied. "Take Sam for example. He was studying pre-law at college. I was studying education."

Like before, it was like a switch going off, and Adam turned to look critically at me. His eyes were glazed over, and the look would have certainly killed me if they could. "Why do you care?"

"I'm interested in your life. It's common courtesy to make conversation with people," I replied. I smiled half-heartedly. "Is that a problem?"

"It is when you don't care," Adam said. He turned back to his plate of food and began wolfing down even more food.

I looked across at Dean, who had an unusual look on his face. I wasn't sure if it was depression, agitation, fear, or something else entirely on his face. I sighed and asked loudly, "Dean, can I talk to you for a moment?"

"Sure," Dean said.

"Alone," I emphasized. I looked at the rest of the table; everyone except Adam and Bobby were looking at us oddly. I didn't care at the moment. Dean groaned and looked down at his piece of pie he'd just started before nodding. He stood up and followed me out of the diner. I stopped at the Impala and turned towards him with arms crossed. I tried to look as stern as possible.

"Have you known this entire time?" I asked.

"Known what?"

"That I'm as big of a piece in the damn apocalypse as you and Sam!" I exclaimed. "That I'm supposed to somehow bring the antichrist into the world? That Sam and I are supposed to hook up?" At that last question I blushed slightly. Sam was a blessing of a man, don't get me wrong, but I was with Dean, and I didn't exactly feel like trading off on brothers.

Dean sighed. He took a step toward me, only to have me step back in an equal step. Hopefully he had enough sense to not pin me against the Impala. That wouldn't go over well with the others able to see right out the window.

"Look," he said. "I should have told you."

"Told me? You shouldn't have even slept with me in the first place!" I exclaimed. "You knew who I was even back then, Dean."

"I was drunk and so were you. I thought… I thought after I woke up beside you that seeing you in the future had just been a fluke."

"Oh, so me giving birth to the antichrist was a fluke?" I asked. Rolling my eyes, I said, "You need to readjust some things in your wiring. And, on the subject, you better pray to God or whoever the hell is listening that we defeat Lucy and Mikey because if we don't, and I have to go through with it, then you're going to be the first person I come after."

"Trina," Dean said. He took another step forward. I took another back. "We'll find a way to stop this. I promise."

"You better, Dean Winchester, because I want out of this as soon as possible," I replied coldly. I took a step towards him finally. "And once this is over, I never want to see you again. Got it?"

Dean swallowed. He looked at the ground. I groaned and felt my anger leave as I stepped closer to him still.

"Dean, look, I didn't mean to say it like that but… I mean, let's be honest. You were never exactly there with me fully. You love Lisa. Always have. You just tolerated me."

"Way to say it bluntly," Dean muttered. "And I don't love Lisa."

"Yes you do, Dean."

"Whatever, Teacher." He looked up and smirked at me. "How come I never got to play bad teacher with you?"

"Dean!" I exclaimed. I slapped him on the arm and took off toward the diner. When I entered, I knew something had happened. I couldn't describe it, my mind instantly trying to override the bad feeling that I got, but my gut told me something had happened in our absence. I took in the emptiness that filled the table everyone sat at. Besides our seats being empty, one more was.

Adam's.

"Where the hell did Adam go?" I asked.

"Bathroom," Chris said. He smiled at me. "He said he'd be right back."

"How long ago was that?" Dean asked.

Shrugging, Chris replied, "About a few minutes after you guys went outside."

I shot a look to Dean and ran towards the bathroom. Not caring that it was the men's room, I kicked open the door and ran in.

"Adam? Get out here now, you dumbass!"

Dean ran in behind me. He ran ahead and checked the stalls, not finding him in any. An unsettling of my stomach caused me to glance at the mirrors by the sink. The sight that greeted me was something out of a horror film.

It was like I'd aged overnight. No longer did I look young, but instead I looked like a haggard woman with a bump in my stomach. A voice entered my head.

'_Sam will say yes…'_

I clenched my eyes shut and felt my body falling like a leaf to the floor, only to be caught by two strong arms. I opened my eyes to Chris staring at me curiously.

"You okay?" he asked.

"Where's Adam?" I asked.

"Gone," Dean replied from a distance. "Must've found some way to communicate with Zachariah."

"We've gotta get him back before he says yes to Michael," I replied. I tried standing up out of Chris' arms, but he kept them locked tightly around me. I stared questionably at him, but he only kept staring curiously.

"What is going on?" I asked.

"You freaked out in the boys' bathroom, Trina." I looked up at Sam. "What happened?" Remembering the voice from earlier, I couldn't look at him any longer. It reminded me of my so-called destiny.

"Let's just find the kid before he does something he'll regret for the rest of his undead life."

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**Thanks for reading! Please R&R, it feeds my addiction ;)**


	5. And the Swan Sings its Song

**Here's the second to last chapter, but don't let that say that I won't touch this story again ;) I have drabble ideas and so forth lined up! And now, enjoy!**

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It was as if an eerie calmness settled over me, and not the good kind. All of us stood somewhere in that cemetery. I stood the farthest away from the action, and to my right stood Chris, holding my shoulder so tightly I was sure that when everything was done it would be dislocated or hurt in some other way from all of my struggling.

Dean had made sure to let Chris know to keep me as far away as possible. I hated him for that.

"No!" escaped my lips as Sam, being ridden by Lucifer, threw Dean against the Impala. I watched him start punching Dean over and over again. It didn't matter what I'd told Dean about how our relationship was useless, and it didn't even matter that Sam wasn't Sam, it still hurt seeing him beat his brother like that.

"Trina, stop fighting me! You're going to dislocate your shoulder!" Chris yelled over my own screaming. As if overtaken by something, I turned my head toward him. My eyes clashed with his green eyes that spoke volumes of how much he wanted me safe.

"He's going to kill Dean. Someone has to do—"

My thoughts cut off as a huge sound of gushing wind surrounded the area. I looked over to see Sam looking one last time around before he turned to Adam, who was being ridden by Michael. I gulped down any fight I had and felt my tears rain down like a monsoon against the ground while Sam pushed himself and Adam into the hole to Lucifer's cage.

Collapsing to the ground, I lost it entirely. Faintly I could hear someone trying to tell me to stop yelling, but I didn't care. I knew my voice would be hoarse. I knew that I probably wouldn't be able to talk tomorrow, and I knew that my shoulder would hurt as well, but I couldn't find myself caring since Sam had just martyred himself for the good of all humankind.

And no one would even know his sacrifice.

Someone crouched in front of me, but I paid no heed. Then their hand grasped my chin and forced my face up to theirs.

Castiel.

"How…" I gasped out. He had been killed by Lucifer, hadn't he?

Instead of answering, he touched his fingers to my forehead and all the pain I felt in my shoulder and throat vanished. I looked over toward where the entire thing had gone down and took in Dean in a similar form. His head was bent to the ground and I knew he was staring at the spot where Sam had taken his swan dive.

"Trina, are you okay?" Chris asked.

"How are you so calm?" I asked. My head snapped up. "Sam just gave up his life for all of us and you're just standing there like it's nothing! Sam was a friend, Chris!"

Chris took a step back, and I took in the time to look at him, really look at him. His eyes were bloodshot and his eyes were averted to the ground. His clothes were disheveled, and I could see rips throughout them—he was starting to look more and more like all the hunters I'd seen—and his hands at his sides kept clenching and unclenching.

"I'm sorry," I whispered. My feet, acting of their own accord, pushed me toward Dean, who still sat in the same position. I dropped down beside him and wrapped my arms around his shoulders and clenched my eyes shut once more. My body began rocking back and forth in an attempt to calm him down.

"He's gone…" Dean whispered.

"I know." Tears began falling down my cheek at an even more rapid pace. I didn't try to stop them though I knew they were soaking Dean's shirt. We'd all lost so much. Jo. Ellen. Sam. Pamela. Ash. Mary. John.

I might not have known them all, but I knew their sacrifices hurt just as much.

The next time I looked around, it looked like night was setting. Dean began to move out of my grasp and I moved up to my feet in the same instant.

Cas, Bobby, and Chris all walked over to the two of us.

"What do we do now?" Chris asked.

"I'm going back to college," I said. "Sam told me that that's what he wanted so I'm going to honor it."

"I'm going to go try to be with Lisa and Ben," Dean said. He looked me in the eye. I smiled at him and patted him on the shoulder before pulling him into a hug. I knew Sam had told him to go be happy and she was who made him happy.

Chris coughed and said, "I'm going to start hunting."

Jerking my head toward him, I asked, "What?"

"I can't sit still knowing these things are out there and not do anything about it. I'm going to do what I can and Bobby told me earlier that he'd teach me," Chris replied. He smiled. "Don't worry, I'll be fine."

"With the apocalypse averted, Heaven will be in chaos," Cas said. He turned his head toward the sky.

"So you're like the new sheriff in town," Dean surmised. I couldn't tell if he was joking or being serious, so I stood still and took in Cas. Looking at us all, he was gone with the soft flap of wings.

I pulled my arms from Dean finally and looked softly into his green eyes. I smiled slightly and said, "Guess I shouldn't touch you like that. Lisa might get jealous."

Dean stepped closer, his hands softly touching my arms. "You're a good person, Trina. Whoever you end up with will be a lucky guy."

"I know," I replied. "And Lisa is a good girl for you to have as well. I don't know her, but Sam told me enough about her."

Under his breath, Dean said, "Chris, he loves you. You two should be together."

"It would never work," I replied.

"Try." Laughing, Dean turned to look me in the eye once more. "Whoever is listening knows you have to at least try."

"Dean Winchester giving love advice. Who knew that day would come," I joked. Under my breath, I added, "If that's what you think is best, then I'll try."

"Good," Dean said. "And remember to have fun at college."

"Just don't hook up with the guy in the leather coat," I surmised.

We were far from okay, but at least we knew what we could do to honor Sam's last wish.

* * *

**:'( I don't know about you guys, but I bawled like a baby when writing this chapter! Please let me know what you guys thought :D R&R!**


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